The Emerald Shores of Ireland - Part 17

The Emerald Shores of Ireland
A trip journal by David Bowers
9/2/08-9/11/08
Part 17

By this time we had met up with the sacristan and one of the gates was opened. The gate has a park welcome sign, park map, a notice that this is a holy place, so no picnics or camping on the island itself, and a sign describing the site. We entered and crossed the bridge and found not a holy water font, but an entire holy water well. We continued along the pathway and I noted old stairs going up to something up in the hillside, but no time for that now as the sacristan is leading us to the end of the pathway to the little chapel. When I say little, I mean we had a tour group of 56, and we were a tight fit. There is room for maybe 48-50 seated, more in folding chairs or standing in the back. After we entered the lights were turned on, and the sacristan set up microphones for a sound system. We got a laugh out of that, as it seemed totally unneeded. There is only one aisle, down the center, with the pews going all the way to the side walls. I look down and I can tell I am not looking forward to the bare wood unpadded kneelers.

It's a pretty church on the inside as well with rose and pink colored walls, an impressive altar in the front, and a sanctuary candle right over the center aisle that dominates the front half of the room. I noted for fire safety, they went with the push button electric votive candles, and the walls were adorned with paintings depicting the stations as well as the usual statues. The sacristan mentioned this building is only about 100 years old, and is not a regular parish and has no scheduled Masses, but is extremely popular for weddings, retreats and tour groups. We proceeded to have Mass, and things were going fine until communion time, when Father admitted "I have no idea how we are going to do this". There are no side aisles, and the main aisle is only about 1 person wide. I was seated in the front, and for us Father just walked along the front pew distributing communion the old fashioned way, just like he had a communion rail. For the other rows things were a bit more interesting, what we finally did was one pew at a time people went into the main aisle and got in line, then received as they headed back into the pew. It took some time, but it was well organized. Father said "It's the German coming out in me"

When Mass was ended we had some time to admire the church, and then I went outside and up the uneven stone steps, two flights up to an outdoor stations of the cross. There is a large cross in the center and it is said that these are actually the ruins of St. Finbar's hermitage. I took some photos and went back down the two flights of stairs and rejoined the group as we headed back across the bridge and up the trail to the bus. We headed out and got a good taste for just how far out of the way Gougan Barra is as we backtracked quite a ways to the sounds of the High Kings on the bus sound system.

We headed to Blarney, a stop[ I was most interested in. But first, we passed a Top gas station, with "Proud to be Irish" proudly displayed on its sign, not in changeable letters, but a permanent feature of the sign. I suspect this may be in reaction to the number of Texaco stations I saw. On the way to Blarney Castle, Jerry gave us the background about how it's a castle ruin, albeit a castle ruin that has become very famous for its Blarney Stone. Blarney, which is either seen as the gift of gab or the gift of eloquence, depending on your point of view, is said to be instilled in whomever kisses the stone. The story goes that Queen Elizabeth I decided it would be a good idea that the Irish Earls who owned the castles should just give them over to the crown. The Earl at Blarney castle sounded agreeable but whenever the day to hand over the castle came, he always had some reason why the transfer could not go on, causing the queen to say that he was full of blarney. Jerry noted that wouldn't it be great if you could just walk into the front hall of the castle , and pucker up to some stone at head level mounted on a wall? Well, its not that easy, first you have to climb all the way to the top of the castle, yes using those same dubious spiral stairs we saw in Bunratty just not as well lit or maintained over the years. Once we get to the roof of the castle, we have to walk around to a certain point, then you have to lie down on your back on the railing, crane you head backwards so that you are almost upside down in order to kiss the stone. That might scare some people off, but I think its good to let people know what sort of adventure they are in for up front. In addition to the castle, we would also have the main location of Blarney Woolen Mills, which is a big Irish souvenir superstore, and Jerry proposed we take our lunch stop here as well. So, let's see 1 hour to tour the castle, 1 hour to shop, 1 hour to eat, so I'll give you 3 hours of free time to divide up as you see fit. He pointed out the locations of the store, the restaurant, and the pathway leading to the castle. The castle is a paid attraction, but he has called in advance and we are to just show our tour name badges to the tcket seller. This will also be a break for John, but in consideration of those who would like to shop, about halfway through the period he will unlock the bus for people to stow any purchases.

Bob and I discussed our options, and I knew my primary objective was getting my smooch of that stone. We reasoned that we seemed to be arriving at a popular lunch hour, and that since we don't know what kind of line to expect at the castle, that we should first head to the castle. We followed the well marked path from the Blarney Woolen Mills parking lot out to the road, where we crossed the street and then walked through Blarney Castle's small parking lot. If they would have just made the space between the parking spaces and the fence a bit wider they would have had a nice walkway. At the other end of the parking lot we come to the park gate. No fancy indoor reception area here, instead they have ticket windows and turnstiles, so evidently the ticket selling and admission is handled in one step. We walked up to an open turnstile and told the ticket seller we were with Jerry's tour group, and she notices our badges and waved us through the turnstile. Even the turnstile here is an antique, its not the modern kind with three rotating bars coming out of a vertical cabinet, this is an older deign with a cross shaped top mounted on a pedestal. To discourage crawling under they have added a grate to the bottom of the bars. The pedestal is mounted flush with the side of the ticket booth, so the stile rotates into the ticket booth where I am sure there is some control mechanism. I had noticed books about the castle being sold by the ticket seller, but given the adventure ahead, I decided to pick one up on the way out.

We first went through a entrance plaza complete with gift shop, snack bar and restrooms, before heading out along a pathway that followed alongside a stream. When we were back as far as the castle, the path turned and crossed the stream with a narrow bridge. Some photos were taken , and when we crossed I had noted a sign that read "Blarney Stone at top of castle" I misinterpreted the sign as just a piece if information, but it looks like that sign might be just under the stone where you could look up at it the ground, however photo review reveals that to not be the case. We headed up alongside the castle and the first entrance, well its not the most glamorous, it leads to the dungeons. I didn't feel like a real life game of Dungeons and Dragons, and besides I didn't bring my torch, lantern, or flashlight with me, and it looks like those would be needed, We continued to walk around the perimeter where we passed by the round guard tower. At this point, we had seen a stairway up to the castle, but alas it was roped off. We continued along the perimeter trail, where we saw a path branching off for "Rock Close" Jerry didn't mention Rock Close or why we would want to see it, so we pressed on heading for the Castle. We climbed up some stairs, and passed a rest area before heading alongside another path that runs between Blarney Castle, and the newer Blarney House. Signs indicated that Blarney House was closed today, but we could explore the gardens. We declined that offer, and instead of going through the gate in the garden wall, instead turned and went through the castle gate.

We entered the courtyard where a gift stand was set up, but more importantly it was the pick up stand for the blarney stone photos. I noted the price, €10, though I knew I was probably going to buy one, no matter the price. From the courtyard we went inside and into the Great Hall. I noted the light blue signs on the walls kept pointing the way to the Blarney Stone. I also see a fairly modern wooden stairway, hey this doesn't look too bad yet. We climb the normal stairs to the next floor. We tour a room of the castle where we can see outside, and we can also go up a couple stairs and follow a passage which leads to the spiral stairs. Okay, here it comes, I enter the stairwell. The stairwell is not well lit, perhaps lit only by natural light in the windows. The stairs are narrower, shallower, and steeper than Bunratty, and get more so the further up you go. No handrails to be had, just a rope hanging down the center to grab onto. We slowly and carfully make our climb up the next couple floors, they don't make it well known but you could stop at any of the landings and further explore the castle. Towards the top of the stairs I am using my hands on the stairs as they become so steep. We exit the stair turret and then realize we are not on the top floor, we have to walk along a balcony around the turret, where we can see down into what looks like a courtyard in the center of the castle, which may have once contained the real great hall. We reenter the turret on the other side for the final flight of spiral stairs and step out onto the rooftop. Here is the place where medevil battle legends take place, the castle parapet. Don't lose track of your footing yet, as the walkway up here is up a step, two steps forward, down a step, two steps forward, up a step, and repeat all the way around, The Blarney Stone is about halfway around the parapet walk, and we walk about halfway along our side of the parapet before hitting the back of the queue. We quickly realize we are joining our group in the queue, and Father is just about 2 or 3 people in front of us. To help kill time you can look down into the courtyard, you can take pictures of each other, or if you are at the notches in the parapet you can look at the view. They have placed a bunch of signs some serious some humorous in the area to help as well. We no sooner got up there when the photographer had to take about a ten minute rest break, and everything just came to a halt till he returned.

As we made our way around to the stone, I noted the height requirement was at the operators sole discretion, and to be sure to secure all loose articles. No hats, glasses, or anything like that allowed, and we were advised that shirt and jacket pockets are also a bad idea unless they can be secured. Further signs alert you that you can take photos of the stone from this side (mostly blocked by the attendant), but not from the other side as that is an "Official Photographer's Stand Only". I eventually made it to the front of the line, and the procedure is approximately this, first they have a plastic box you can store loose articles in, then you lie down on your back on the ground, the railing and wall are actually notched out here so you are laying down at foot level rather than climbing up on the railing. They are thoughtful to provide a blanket here for your comfort. Once you have assumed the position, you are told to reach behind your head and take a firm grasp of two steel bars, then you are told to use the steel bars to pull yourself closer to the edge, and then bend your head way back so it is between the outer castle wall and the inner wall. Note that there is a gap between the two walls, and when you have your head in the right spot to kiss the stone embedded in the outer wall, and low down on the wall you are looking straight down at the ground. Yes this has caused some people to freak out, and yes they have added safety bars over the years so if you would slip you won't fall. Don't worry about that though, as this fine Irishman is holding onto you with a firm grasp holding you securely in place. It should also be noted that if the fear of heights doesn't get you, the fact your head is lower then your stomach and legs will. The human body just doesn't like this position, so the weird feeling some say they get when they kiss the stone is actually a reflex by the body on the position it has been forced to assume. When you are done, the operator helps you stand back up, you drop something in his tip jar, collect your loose items, and the photographer gives you a claim ticket. Note when I say photographer, I mean man who merely presses a button mounted on the wall which activates a fixed camera pointed at the position.

Now that I have shared that, I can also share the urban legend Father had shared with us before the trip, the legend being that at night the locals sneak into Blarney Castle and use the Blarney Stone as the world's most unique urinal and then laugh to themselves at all the tourists who line up the next morning to kiss it. The jury is still out as to the truth of this urban legend, but there are numerous websites that offer their opinion.

We continue walking around the parapet and come to the other turret, time to start the climb down. After the climb up, we were very worried about this, but it seems this stairway is in better condition, is wider, and has handrails on both sides. We go down one flight, and its back out onto the balcony where a display tells us about the great hall in the courtyard. Back into the turret and we again ignored the landing or two on the way down and soon found ourselves more or less exiting into the entrance hall. We exited the castle to the same front courtyard we entered and headed to the photo booth. We handed over our claim checks, and were shown two monitors with two different poses, one of you in the actual act, and one of you preparing to kiss the stone. The downside of the one of the actual kiss is owing to your position its hard to tell who it is, so I went with the preparing to kiss pose. It comes in a 5x7 color glossy inserted into a folder that has a picture of the castle on the front, and a certificate on the inside you can fill out yourself to mark the occasion. The folder was put into a paper bag and we were on our way. There was some chat and congratulations to each other outside the castle walls on our collective accomplishments, then we had the trek around the trail back to the admission gates. We made a quick stop in the entrance plaza before heading into the gift shop. I picked up the Blarney Castle book €5, and declined to by the shillleleagh my coworker asked for, just looked to bulky to try to get home (€20). I did note the gift shop made a selling point out of the products they had that could not be purchased at the giant Blarney Woolen Mills. With that we exited the park, and carefully made our way through the parking lot, across the street, and back the pathway to head to the restaurant at Blarney Woolen Mills

We entered the restaurant and found the plan worked perfectly as we walked up to an almost empty cafeteria counter. Stopping at the drinks station, I decided to try a bottle of the Fanta sparkling lemonade, and Bob decided to try one as well. When I first saw the menu I thought I would go with the chicken curry, but upon approaching the serving area, I changed my mind to go with the roast leg of lamb, served with peas and both mashed and boiled potatoes. I recall hearing at the pre tour social that no matter what you order you will get potatoes and sometimes two different kinds of potatoes. They asked if I wanted gravy, and they put gravy on my meat, but not the mashed potatoes. We then paid, and on my way to the dining room, I noticed a table with glasses, a big tray of ice, and pitchers of water, and decided that means I can have ice in my drink this time. I stopped off took a glass and filled it with ice before proceeding. We found a table in a quickly emptying dining room, but given the amount of work the bus boys were doing we must have just missed the crowd. It's a nice large dining room with a turning waterwheel inside for a pleasant relaxing atmosphere as we enjoyed our lunches. Yes, the roast lamb was pretty good, and don't you be thinking about one of those poor lambs we have been seeing all week at various farms that suddenly became my lunch. The lemonade was refreshing, once you got used to the carbonation.